


slip a ribbon down

by queerofcups



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, F/F, Sleepovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-01
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-11-07 12:53:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17960912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queerofcups/pseuds/queerofcups
Summary: Phil knows what its like to want and to keep that want to herself.Dan sleeps over.





	slip a ribbon down

Phil sits at the train station with her mum, eyes falling across every person that walks past the tall arches marked ARRIVALS in dull gold letters, while trying not to look like she’s paying too much attention. If she sits up too attentively, or makes a noise of frustration at how long they’ve been there, her mum will notice and then she’ll ask questions.The kind of questions Phil isn’t really ready answer, no matter how innocuous they’d be. 

She’d insisted that she could do this alone just fine, pointed out to Kath that she goes all sorts of places alone at uni. Kath had agreed that she _could_ do this alone but the internet was also full of strange people and there was always a slight chance that Dan wasn’t who Phil thought she was. 

Phil had bit her lip and didn’t say anything at all because there was no way to tell her mum that she’d already met Dan in person without also telling her Dan had come over and spent the night while her and Dad were on vacation. 

No one, not even Martyn, knew about that. 

Phil hadn’t really intended for it to be a secret, she’d had friends stay over before, regardless of who was home. 

But it felt like if she tells her mum about Dan staying over, she’ll also, somehow, end up telling her about the weird tension that crackled between them all weekend long. She isn’t sure she’s even able to put into words the way it’d felt when she, almost certainly, caught Dan glancing over at her while they’d changed into pajamas, or the way Dan had started out on a pallet on the floor but they’d fallen asleep pressed together in Phil’s bed.

And telling her mum about the weird tension would also mean telling her that Dan’s not the first girl she’s felt this kind of tension with, she’s not even the first girl Phil’s stared at a little too long. 

She thinks she’ll tell her mum eventually, maybe when she’s not living with them and doesn’t have to answer questions about how sure she is about her feelings. Kath would mean well, but she’d want to know _why_ and if Phil is _sure_. Phil isn’t sure of the why, yet. She just knows that her stomach flutters every time Dan answers a Skype call, even though they’ve been talking for months now, and all her private thoughts about featureless hands touching her have been replaced with wondering just how much Dan had done with her girlfriend and just what that might look like.

“I think it's great,” Kath says, tugging Phil away from her thoughts. “That you’re taking another young woman under your wings like this. You always said you wanted a little sister, this is sort of like that.”

“Mum,” Phil laughs, trying to fight the flush that wants to come up on her cheeks. “Dan’s nothing like a sister. We’re just friends, come on.”

“Of course, child,” Kath says, reaching out to smooth Phil’s too long hair. “I just think it's nice, that you girls can find friends that share such unique hobbies, watching all those short films.”

And Phil could make a face over her mum’s continual suspicion over youtube, but she’s just seen a puff of brown hair standing head and shoulders over all the other women, and many of the men, coming out of the arrival terminal. 

“Dan!” Phil says, raising a hand to wave her in their direction. “Over here!”

“Oh, she’s so pretty!” Kath says, as if Phil doesn’t already know. “Though I see she’s also obsessed with video games.”

Phil ignores her mum. Dan’s shirt fits tight across her frame, Ryu on one side and the iconic hadouken blasting across her right tit. Phil snaps her eyes up, at her face. She’s wearing the eyeliner she’d gotten when they’d gone out to the shops the last time she was her. Phil recognizes the deep green smudges of it. 

“Hi!” Dan says and drops her things to tackle-hug Phil. 

“Oof,” Phil says, Dan’s impact pushing the air out of her. Dan’s warm and her hair has been teased and swept to the side into a proper fringe. She smells like sweat and hairspray and warmth and Phil wants to hug her for much, much longer, but her mum is standing right there waiting. 

“Hi,” Phil says quietly into her ear before taking a step back and disengaging except for an arm placed carefully around Dan’s waist, not so high that she brushes the curve of Dan’s more-ample-than-her’s chest, but not so low that Phil’s possessively touching her hip either. A perfect, platonic height. 

“Mum,” Phil says, “This is Dan.”

“Hello,” Phil’s mum says warmly. “It’s wonderful to meet you, I’m Kath.”

She extends a hand to Dan, who shakes it. They’d spent an hour last night talking about how nervous Dan was to meet Kath, but none of it is showing now. 

“Hi, Mrs. Lester. Thanks so much for letting me stay at your place.”

Phil squeezes Dan a little, a gentle reminder of their shared story. As far as Kath needed to know, this was Dan’s first time in Rawenstall. Dan pinches her side gently with the hand that’s hidden behind Phil’s back. Then, quickly but gently, she brushes a thumb across the little sliver of skin where Phil’s shirt has ridden up. It’s a good thing they’re talking, because Phil wouldn’t be able to explain her short inhalation to her mum or Dan. 

“Well,” Kath says, “Let’s head home, yeah? Dan, is it okay for me to call you Dan? I know Phil is determined to make me call her by this silly nickname.”

“Mum,” Phil says quickly, the closest she gets to speaking harshly to her mum. 

“Philo _mena_ ,” Kath says, waving a hand, “Dan? Is that okay?”

“Oh, yes,” Dan says. “My, um, no one calls me Yazzie but my own mum. Everyone else just knows me as Dan. It's my middle name. Daniela.”

“Oh that’s lovely,” Kath says, and finally turns toward the exit of the train station. “But Dan is fine with me if it's fine with you.”

Phil feels like she can finally breathe when they’re finally following behind her mum, but her breath gets stolen for just a second, when Dan grabs the arm that’s slipping away from her middle and interlaces her fingers with Phil’s for just a moment. 

Dan and Kath are both walking away then, making small talk, so neither of them are there to see Phil’s cheeks flame up, bright and obvious. 

 

The rest of the time with Phil’s parents goes by blessedly quickly. Phil loves her mum and dad a lot and doesn’t mind spending time with them, even after some months of independence at uni. Dan doesn’t seem to mind them, and then minds them even less after the glass of red wine Dan’s mum offers them with dinner. It feels special; Kath never offers any of Martyn’s grubby friends wine when they’re over for dinner. She confirms it when she gives Phil a little wink. 

And then they’re done with dinner and dessert and just enough telly for her parents to start yawning in unison. Nigel is the one to finally call it a night for them, with a friendly goodbye to Dan and a kiss dropped on Phil’s head. Her mum tells them not to stay up too late. And then, suddenly she and Dan have the night to themselves. 

“Can we go up to your room?” Dan asks, “I wanna show you this new video I found.”

Phil nods and they climb the stairs together, heading toward Phil’s room. 

“It's this really cool girl,” Dan’s saying, “She makes this videos about, like, it’s like storytelling, and sometimes she gets friends to act scenes out. I watched like, almost all her videos last night.”

Phil tries not to let jealousy of all kinds burn in her stomach. She hasn’t had a chance to make a video in weeks. It was easy in uni, but here she has to wait til her parents are out, so she doesn’t have to explain why she’s talking to a camera or that she’s not doing anything inappropriate, even with the camera pointing directly at her bed.

It was easier to hide her youtube videos from them when she was just recording on a webcam or her computer’s laptop. It's harder now, when everyone seems to be getting a newer, better camera every day and Phil’s just trying to keep up. 

It doesn’t help that the way Dan’s talking about this girl sounds a lot like the way she talked about Phil when they first started talking--that awestruck kind of babbling where she gets taken away in how _good_ someone is. 

Phil doesn’t think she’s full of herself, but it had felt nice to hear someone talk about how much they liked her videos, especially when she the bigger she got, the more comments she got about her weird hair or how she should wear more makeup if she wanted more views. It felt nice to hear from someone who just liked when she was doing because they liked it. 

“Yeah,” Phil says, opening her bedroom door. “We can do that. And you can watch some footage I filmed. I haven’t edited it yet but…”

“We can do that first,” Dan says, big smile spreading across her face. “Those are best friend privileges, right? I get to see all the behind the scenes stuff.”

Phil ducks her head and smiles against the warm, embarrassed feeling spreading across her cheeks. Dan’s always intent on establishing her place as Phil’s best friend, as if she has any competition, these days. But it still feels special, to know that Dan’s always competing for a best friendship she already has. 

“Yeah,” Phil says, “Yeah, that’s definitely a perk.”

They watch youtube for hours. They start with the footage of the video Phil’s going to put up soon, then the new youtuber Dan found and then old favorites. Eventually, there are gummy worms and ice cream and they even sneak downstairs to finish off leftover slices of pizza. It feels nearly just like the sleepovers Phil had with her friends when they were younger.

There are other parts that feel the same. 

Like the way she finds herself sinking into Dan’s side when they flop over each other on the bed until they find the softest, most comfortable bits of each other to lay on. And the way she wants to bury her nose and maybe some fingers in Dan’s hair. She remembers feeling like that in Year 7, with Tia, who had curly dark hair that always smelled of apples and always shared her crisps with Phil. And there are things that are similar, but much more intense now. 

Phil’s always known she was queer, even before she had a word for it. She supposes she’s a lesbian. There hasn’t been a boy that turns her head basically ever. But that feels a little too final, like she’s given up trying. At least that’s what the mum in her head says. 

But she knows, for certain, that she likes girls. She’s had crushes on friends, and worked to figure out how much touching is just girls being friends and when it becomes something else. She knows how long you can look at someone’s lips before you can’t swear you were just admiring the color of their lipstick. She knows how often you can admire someone’s ass before they don’t believe you when you ask them where they got their jeans. And Phil knows she’s broken every one of those carefully tested time limits with Dan. Except when Dan catches her, she doesn’t look grossed out, or even surprised. She just looks pleased, and maybe a little smug and keeps on with whatever she was doing. 

Eventually they change into pajamas. Phil sleeps in basically the same thing every night, a t-shirt she’d stolen from her dad ages ago that still fits long on her, and a roomy pair of boxers. 

She’s tried other things in uni--nighties and even sleeping naked--but nothing feels quite as comfortable. Dan’s sleeping clothes aren’t that far off, a shirt and shorts. Except that her shirt is about three times too big and the neck has been cut into a near perfect circle that leaves it balanced precariously on her shoulders, just waiting to slip too far down. Her shorts are short, so short Phil wonders if they aren’t, in fact, underwear. Phil’s seen her in this outfit twice now, and both times it's left Phil glancing wildly around the room, looking for anywhere safe to rest her eyes. 

They’re the same height, roughly, but Dan’s body is so different, so foreign to Phil, that she just wants to look and look, to take in Dan’s long, pale thighs and the broadness of her shoulders and the way her collarbone dips down and down to surprisingly ample cleavage for her narrow frame. 

Dan’s well fit in all circumstances, and she mostly knows it. But there’s something about seeing her in this private way, in cut up pajamas and all her hair piled onto the top of her head in a messy knot, makeup wiped away and jittery with too many sweets, that makes Phil’s heart twist in her chest. 

And that’s the thing that turns Phil’s worries into overdrive. She’s wanted girls all of her life. She’s wanted to smell their hair and kiss them and feel the soft parts of them. She hasn’t done much but she’s wanted for ages and she’s never wanted anyone with the intensity that she wants Dan. She doesn’t want to just shag Dan, she _wants_ her, all of her, all the time. And Phil doesn’t know how to handle that. 

 

Eventually, they’re in Phil’s bed, Dan’s abandoned pallet on the floor beside them, watching another youtuber. She’s a tiny, dark blonde woman who gets drunk and bakes things. Phil thinks it's a little dangerous, but Dan thinks it's brilliant, so they watch video after video. 

“She’s a lesbian,” Dan says out of nowhere. 

“Oh,” Phil says. She’d thought, maybe, from the beanie and the way the woman held herself, but Phil figured that stuff could just be being American. “Cool.”

Dan snorts. 

“Erica doesn’t get it,” Dan says. 

Phil’s not sure what “it” is, but she’s known Dan long enough to know that she’ll get around to her point eventually. 

“She thinks it's this thing that’s...necessary, being a lesbian. She said she can’t be with me, if I can’t promise her I won’t ever be with a man.”

Ah. There’s that thing. Phil’s not ready to call herself a lesbian, but she’s fairly certain she is. Dan’s had loads of boyfriends, but she’s been with Erica the longest, but she insists it doesn’t change anything about the way she feels about men. Phil doesn’t really get why she bothers, why she can’t just go back and forth depending on who she’s dating, but the one time she said that, Dan had gone red in the face and hadn’t answered when Phil texted her for three whole days. 

“What’d you say?” Phil asks, poking at a hole in the hem of her boxers. 

Dan shrugs a shoulder. “That it's over.”

Phil turns to look at Dan, who’s still watching the drunk woman cook. 

“We break up all the time,” Dan says, with a careless shrug over her shoulder. “Plus, she knows that I’ve been thinking about someone else,” Dan says. 

Phil waits for more, but Dan doesn’t say anything else. 

There’s another hour and then they’re well into the middle of the night and just clicking random videos. They’ve hit the weird part of youtube, where people silently eat while staring straight into the camera and take five minute videos of themselves churning cream into butter, just to feed it to cats. They take turns clicking things, and then sag back against each other to blink heavily and ignore each other’s yawns. 

Phil closes her eyes for a moment too long and only opens them when Dan shifts back from her turn at clicking and starts laughing. 

“Hmm?” Phil asks and her stomach drops when she looks at the screen. There are two women, wasp-waisted and two different shades of blonde, kissing furiously. Phil feels her stomach drop, and then gets hyperaware of all the places she and Dan are touching, and how exposed the wide legs of her boxers make her feel. 

“This shit is so fake,” Dan says, brushing a delinquent strand of hair away from her eye. “Who kisses like this.”

Phil watches the video. It's obviously clipped from a porn, cut to brush up against youtube’s rules about propriety. The scene changes and Phil realizes it's a compilation of women noisily kissing. The volume is low but Phil’s suddenly grateful for her parent’s bedroom being on the other end of the house and Martyn’s bedroom being blessedly empty. 

Phil doesn’t love porn-- she’s seen enough to know it makes her feel weird about the size of her own chest and the fact that she doesn’t really wear makeup and has yet to see the point of removing her pubic hair--but if Dan wants to sit and make fun of it, she can probably manage that.

“Look at that,” Dan says and giggles so hard she squeaks. “Who does that?”

She sticks her tongue out and waves it around, a mocking imitation of the woman on screen, who’s clearly trying to get a taste of her screen partners wisdom teeth. 

Phil laughs along and says, “You mean you don’t kiss like the Lizard Queen over here? Freak.”

Dan rolls her eyes and says, “I’m a great kisser, everyone says so. I could teach you a thing or two, Lester.”

Phil doesn’t know how to form a reply that doesn’t consist of the words “yes” and “please”, but it doesn’t matter because that section is over and then there’s an awkward cut to one woman with her head thrown back and another woman’s head about chest level. 

“Oh, that’s nice,” Dan sighs, tilting her hand against her head and leaning her weight against Phil, who presses her back to the wall her bed rests flush to. 

“Is it?” Phil asks. 

Dan’s silent for a few seconds and Phil feels her insides seizing up. She’s pushed too much and made it weird. It’s too much, to ask about what Dan likes, to get her to say what she and Erica have been up to. 

But then Dan yawns and hums and affirmative. 

“It feels really nice,” she says. “Especially with the ring, it’s like, intense. My tits are sensitive, the whole thing, but when she puts her mouth right there, it's like...it’s my favorite thing.”

Phil doesn’t say anything, watching the compilation of women kissing end. She doesn’t move to click to another video.

Instead, she asks, “Ring?”

“Oh,” Dan says, “Yeah. I thought you knew. It’s dumb, I went to a shop with some of my friends, at the beginning of last year. I didn’t want anything but she kept going on and on and I was like, whatever. Do y’wanna see?”

Phil can feel her heart trying to beat through her chest, and she should say no. There are a ton of reasons she should say no, and even if she doesn’t, it won’t mean anything afterward. They’ll be friends. Girl friends see each other naked all the time, this is just another step, just another best friend privilege. 

“Um,” Phil says, and ignores the way her voice cracks. She licks her lips and says, “Yeah, I bet it looks cool.”

“It looks cool now,” Dan scoffs. “It was a bitch to heal.”

She pushes herself up, off of Phil and turns to face her. She does a casual little shoulder roll and her shirt falls away, down to her waist. 

Dan’s nipples are dusky pink, more brown than Phil’s. Her areola are a little smaller, and speckled with browner spots. Her nipples are small and one is, in fact, pierced. She’s wearing a simple little silver ring, sealed with a ball. She watches Phil look, and looks down at them, chewing on her bottom lip a little. 

“They’re, um,” Phil says and turns so she’s facing Dan, their knees pressed against each other. She clenches her fingers in the covers and says, “They look really cool. The piercing, I mean. ”

“Thanks,” Dan says and pulls her shirt up so that only one of her tits, the unpierced one, is covered. “I was going to do both but holy shit did the first one hurt. Do you wanna touch it? It feels really weird.”

Phil hasn’t ever touched anyone’s breast other than her own. Phil hasn’t done much of anything. She’s given a friend sad handjob that got aborted most of the way through, just to be certain that she really wasn’t into men and she’s kissed a handful of girls, just because she had to be sure, she had to be certain, even if she was only proving to herself. 

So she’s got no fucking clue what she’s doing when she nods and says, quietly, too softly for two friends sharing a cool quirk, “Yeah. I. Yeah, I--sure.”

She takes too long after saying yes, because Dan huffs a laugh and gestures a litte, “Making me a little nervous here, Lester. Is this weird?” 

Phil shakes her head and leans forward. It’s not weird, because she’s not going to make it weird. She turns her hand over and cups Dan’s tit, and touches a thumb to the ring. Dan’s right, it does feel cool. It’s metal where you wouldn’t expect metal and it makes Phil think of some kind of cool rock and roller, maybe a suicide girl with their wild hair and ink twining all along their curvy bodies. 

Dan makes a soft noise and Phil realizes she’s gotten lost in her thoughts but her thumb is still moving, stroking Dan’s nipple from one side of the ring to the other. 

“Sorry,” Dan says, just as quiet as Phil now. “It’s just...sensitive. It feels nice.” 

Phil starts to pull her hand away but Dan grabs it, shaking her head. 

“It’s fine,” Dan says, “You don’t have to stop, I can be quiet. You thinking of getting one?”

Phil feels faint at the thought of getting her blood drawn, but if that’s what Dan needs to believe to let Phil keep touching her, then she can shrug noncommittally and murmur a lie.

Dan shifts, scooting closer, and her shirt slips til it's hanging around her arms again. She glances at the shirt then shrugs, leaving it as it is.  
Phil pauses to trace the side of Dan’s areola, tracing the circumference of the ring and Dan’s breath catches. The sound of the soft intake of breath is the thing that tilts this situation on its head and Phil realizes that they’re far from the safety of calling this a friendly gesture. 

She raises her other hand and watches Dan’s face as she cups Dan’s other breast. Dan’s eyes flutter closed and she arches her back, like she trying to make herself more accessible for Phil. 

Phil doesn’t say anything. If she says anything, if they break the silence that Dan’s soft gasp cast over both of them, this might end and they’ll have to deal with just what they’re doing. 

Dan’s nipples are hard under her thumbs. They’re resistant when she brushes her thumbs back and forth, little peaks of firm on top of the soft give of her breast.

Phil feels like she’s soaking through her boxers. Every time she shifts, she slides against herself and her arousal feels urgent, almost at odds with this hesitant, quiet thing she’s doing. 

“You can,” Dan murmurs, “Could you.”

Phil looks from her breasts to her. She’s never known Dan to be without words, but her words get stolen with every movement of Phil’s thumb. Phil thinks of the video, the thing Dan said that started this all. 

She drops her hands from Dan’s tits and says, “Come here.” 

It’s not perfect instructions, Dan comes closer as Phil turns to lean back against the wall, but they figure things out eventually. Dan straddles Phil’s lap, sitting up on her knees so her chest is eye-level for Phil. Phil tries to rest her hands on Dan’s hip, then her thigh, trying to find somewhere that doesn’t feel awkward or too forward. Dan just laughs at her and grabs her hands, placing one hand on her hip and the other one back on her tit.

Phil’s hands where she wants them, Dan settles her weight on Phil’s hips and smiles down at her when Phil gasps softly at the feeling of Dan’s heaviness against the top of her cunt. 

That’s a thing she’d learned from Dan. She’d never really had a word for her vagina that felt right, but Dan called her’s everything under the sun, and Phil had clung to the particular warm curl of tongue that came from the word cunt. 

“I don’t know what to do,” Phil admits, regretting having to break one or two word reviere they’d both dropped into. 

And she doesn’t. All the TV shows never get to this point and all the porn has taught her that she should just skip this part and get to whatever leaves them both naked and wailing.

“Oh,” Dan says and sighs, brushing errant hair out of her eyes. “You could keep doing what you were doing. Or...you could try out your mouth on one of them?”

Phil looks up and Dan’s looking down, watching her. 

“Do you want me--,” Phil’s asking, but Dan’s apparently decided that she’d rather be kissing, because she’s leaned down into the distance between them and pressed their mouths together.  
Phil kisses back and puts both hands on Dan’s hips to pull her closer, letting her mouth open when Dan bites gently at her lower lip and sighs when Dan’s tongue slips along the soft jut of her inner lip. 

Phil’s heart feels like a hummingbird in her chest. Disbelief does somersaults across her nerves, but she ignores it, focusing on the feeling of Dan’s mouth on hers. She doesn’t know how far this is going, but she wants it as long as she can have it, and wants to commit every moment to memory.

They kiss for a long minute before Dan pulls away and looks away laughing. 

“What?” Phil asks, “Was it that bad?”  
She tries to keep her voice light but her stomach tightens, watching Dan laugh. 

“No,” Dan says, rubbing a hand across her face, “No, it was great. I just...I guess I didn’t think this would happen.”

“Oh,” Phil says, and her stomach twists into a tighter knot. “I’m sorry. We got carried away, I didn’t mean to--,” 

Dan shakes her head and puts her hand over Phil’s mouth, quieting her, “I wanted it to.”

Phil blinks. 

“That’s. I didn’t tell you, but that’s part of why Erica and I didn’t work. I never told her, but she knew. How I felt about you. She didn’t want me to come over tonight, and I told her I was, and she broke up with me.”

“I’m sorry,” Phil says through Dan’s hand. It comes out garbled but recognizable enough that Dan shakes her head again. 

“It’s fine. I knew what I was getting into. You’re...you’re so fucking hot, Phil. I’ve been trying to get your attention for ages, everyone could tell.”

Phil doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t know what to say to that. Dan’s fit, proper fit, and she’s lithesome enough that she could fit into most social circles if she wanted. And Phil’s a late bloomer who spends too much time on the internet, making weird videos, who’s kissed a handful of people and fucked even fewer. And somehow, unexpectedly, she’s got Dan in her bed, topless, lips already a little puffy from kissing. Want surges through her, and it makes her want to forget all the details, all the questions she’ll want to investigate tomorrow and just take what has, literally, fallen into her lap. 

Phil’s never been taught to want to fuck. She wants it. Sometimes she wants it more than she wants to brush a soft curl away from a girls eye, or to hold someone in the circle of her arm. But she’s never known how to make it happen, she’s always let other people take the lead. 

She slips a finger beneath the hem of Dan’s shorts, rests it against the fullmoon curve of her thigh, almost, but not quite on her inner thigh.  
She glances up at Dan through her eyelashes as she drags her finger back and forth, dipping closer and closer to the wet heat of Dan’s pussy. 

“Don’t tease me,” Dan complains, writhing like there’s nowhere she’d rather be. 

Phil acquises to a degree, dipping forward to press the flat of her tongue against one of Dan’s nipples. She tastes metallic. 

“Ah,” Dan sighs. Phil tugs her finger out from Dan’s shorts and watches Dan’s face as she flips her hand over and presses the palm of her hand low on Dan’s belly. Even the moment of hesitation is too much because Dan’s hand is there, nudging Phil past the waistband of her pants and the prickly just-growing pubic hair until Phil curls her fingers and strokes Dan’s labia. 

She’s wet, slick with it, the space between her thighs is a mess of slippery, trembling skin. She opens easy, even for Phil’s awkwardly turned hand. Phil doesn’t even really have to try for a finger to slide past Dan’s lips, up into the strong, sucking clasp of her cunt. Phil’s done this a few times, enough to feel confident in how things go, but she’s never done this with someone as wet as Dan is now.

“Fuck,” Dan sighs and rolls her hips, “Don’t move.”

Phil doesn’t move, just lets Dan shift until she finds whatever feeling she’s looking for. It doesn’t take long before Dan’s shifting becomes a distinct grinding motion, a sine wave of motion that slips Phil’s fingers in and out of her, the palm of her hand pressing firmly against Dan’s clit. Phil doesn’t leave her to do all the work. 

When Dan asks for another finger, Phil dutifully slides her ring finger in next to her middle finger and breaks from Dan’s slow, purposeful grind to fuck her. She rolls her shoulder and shifts to relieve some of the twist in wrist and settles in.

They stay like that for a few minutes, Dan holding still so Phil can fuck her with mean short strokes, her breathing tightening until she’s making high pitched, punched out sounds every time Phil pushes in. 

Neither of them are speaking, the only noise between them is the wet squelch of Phil’s fingers, and Phil thinks that maybe she could come from that alone. 

“So,” Dan says, her voice high and breathy, like she has to work to sound normal. “Have I ever told you that I’m easy?”

Phil pauses her hand and says, “You are?”

“Yeah,” Dan says, biting her lip. “It's not hard to make me come, if you do it right.”  
Phil waits, for instruction, or the end of the thought but Dan just tilts her body forward so Phil has a little room to work and murmurs a soft _don’t stop_. 

Phil doesn’t stop. She makes a point to press harder of Dan’s clit when she fucks in now, because it makes Dan shiver and spread her legs a little more, and she listens for Dan’s breath to get high and tight again and before she realizes it, they’re rocking together, Dan’s hand is pressed against Phil’s crotch on top of her boxers so that Phil’s hand is pressing harder into her. It’s not the same as fucking, but it's good enough for Phil. She’s been turned on for what feels like hours and Dan’s palm is pressing right above her clit and every time she rocks up and forward it feels like lighting is skittering down her arms and legs. 

“I’m going to come,” Dan says in a rush and repeats herself again and again. 

“Don’t,” Phil says, properly wrapping her arm around Dan’s waist to pull her impossibly closer, giving Phil room to spread her own legs and get Dan in closer contact. She’s just as close, and later, it might be embarrassing how much easier she is than Dan.

Right now, though, all that matters is their bodies rocking together, rubbing against each other, taking pleasure in whatever way they want. 

“Ah,” Phil says. 

“Come on,” Dan says. It's not clear if she’s talking to herself or Phil. “Come on, come on.”

Phil’s not sure who comes first, just that they come together in a shivering, cursing mess of limbs. Dan’s cunt squeezes Phil’s fingers tight, over and over again, and Phil slows down, but doesn’t stop thrusting, in and out of Dan until she makes another noise and shifts back up on her knees, letting Phil’s hand slip away. 

“Wow,” Phil says, holding her hand up to the light. Dan’s wetness webs between her fingers. 

“Shut up,” Dan says and swings her leg back from over Phil’s lap. Phil might be hurt, except Dan is pushing her down flat on the bed and tugging her boxers off. 

“Can I?” Dan asks, like she isn’t already settling between Phil’s legs. “Can you come again?”

This, Phil has never done, but it doesn’t stop her from reaching out and guiding Dan’s head down. 

Dan’s licks over her a few times with a flat tongue before she nudges Phil’s legs open a bit wider and scoots close to lick into Phil. The question of whether or not Phil can come again seems like a joke when Dan thrusts her tongue in and out of Phil a few quick times before she pulls away, just to lean back in and suck Phil’s clit into her mouth, nudging under the hood with the pointed end of her tongue.

Phil’s second orgasm feels like an vague itch that builds a little more every time Dan sucks her clit or dips down to fuck Phil with her tongue. It comes like a wave across her when Dan makes a small _mmm_ noise. Phil reaches down to pull Dan’s mouth closer and lets herself grind up against the fluttering of Dan’s tongue, shoving half her other fist in her mouth to drown out the low groan that comes out of nowhere. It shakes through her like the thunder she’d been waiting for, warm and long. 

When she can finally let Dan’s hair go, her fingers are tight from being clenched for so long and she has to unarch her back. 

“Wow,” Dan says, resting her cheek against the top of Phil’s thigh. 

Phil looks down at her. 

“I’m going to spend so much money on train tickets,” Dan says, her voice buzzing though Phil. 

“Oh,” Phil says, and hesitantly reaches down to push Dan’s hair, fallen out of her bun, away from her eyes. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Dan says, laughing a little. “That was. Well. Amazing.”

And Phil can’t help the silly grin that breaks out on her face, “Truth in advertising.”

“Shut up!” Dan says, but she’s laughing quietly, the corners of her eyes scrunched up and her smile wide. 

Phil decides then that she wants to see that, over and over again. There’s a lot more between them than distance--there’s Erica and Phil’s parents and Phil’s viewers who are already speculating about just who Dan is--but there’s nothing that can’t wait til morning. Phil has Dan in her bed, mostly naked and sleepy and soft around the eyes. The morning time can be for thinking about just what this means. 

“Come on,” she says, tugging Dan up so they can crawl under the covers, “Let’s go to sleep.”

**Author's Note:**

> Fic title is from The Decemberists' Oh Philomena, which was just waiting for me to use it.  
> Thanks to symmetricdnp for beta'ing.  
> This was written for Phandomficfests' February Femslash Fic Fest. 
> 
> Come say hi at queerofcups.tumblr.com


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